A Personal Strategy for Engaging and Building Your Resilience

• Take Care of Yourself—Pay attention to your own needs and feelings. Engage in activities that you enjoy and find relaxing. You should exercise regularly. Taking care of yourself helps to keep your mind and body primed to deal with situations that require resilience
• Establish and Maintain Connections—Good relationships with close family members, friends, and others are important. Accepting help and support from those who care about you and will listen to you strengthens resilience. Some people find that being active in civic groups, faith-based organizations, or other local groups provides social support and can help with reclaiming hope. Assisting others in their time of need also can benefit the helper.
• Monitor Your Exposure to Media Coverage of Violence—Staying informed of current events is important; however, avoid overindulging yourself and be able to note when you have heard (radio), seen (television), and read (newspaper) the same horrific story over and over again. Take needed breaks from the media.
• Avoid Viewing Problems as Impossible—You can’t change the fact that highly stressful events occur, but you can change how you interpret and respond to these events. Try looking beyond the present to how future circumstances may be a little better. Note any subtle ways in which you might already feel somewhat better as you deal with difficult situations.
• Accept Changes as Part of Life—Certain goals may no longer be attainable as a result of adverse situations. Accepting circumstances that cannot be changed can help you focus on circumstances that you can alter.
• Progress Towards Your Goal—Develop some realistic goals for yourself. Do something regularly—even if it seems like a small accomplishment, which enables you to move toward your goals. Instead of focusing on tasks that seem unachievable, ask yourself, “What’s one thing I know I can accomplish today that helps me move in the direction I want to go?”
• Take Clear Actions—Act on adverse situations as much as you can. Take decisive actions, rather than detaching completely from problems and stressors and wishing they would just go away.
• Maintain a Hopeful Outlook—Optimism is learned and nurtured over a period of time. An optimistic outlook enables you to expect that good things will happen in your life. Try visualizing what you want, rather than worrying about what you fear.
• Keep Things in Perspective and Avoid “Catastrophizing”—Even when facing very painful events, try to consider the stressful situation in a broader context, and keep a long-term perspective. Avoid blowing the event out of proportion, such as catastrophizing everything. Noted mental health researcher and clinician Aaron Beck describes “catastrophizing” as fortune telling, meaning you predict the future negatively without considering other, more likely outcomes. For example—"I’ll be so upset, I won’t be able to function at all.”
• Nurture a Positive View of Yourself—Developing confidence in your ability to solve problems and trusting your instincts helps build resilience.
• Engage in Opportunities of Self-Discovery—People often learn something about themselves and may find that they have grown in some respect as a result of their struggle with loss. Many people who have experienced tragedies and hardships have reported better relationships; a greater sense of personal strength even while feeling vulnerable; increased sense of self-worth; a more developed spirituality; and heightened appreciation for life.